Kindle Book Freebie The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997

VMD97The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997 is free on Kindle* until the end of the month.

It contains the thoughts of fifteen year old Cleo, who is growing up in Reading in the 90s, loving metal, disliking the Spice girls and being fascinated by boys.

I like the idea of this book going on holiday with people! If you do read it somewhere exciting I’d love to hear about it.

The Amazon link to download the book in the UK is The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997 UK

The Amazon link to download the book in the US is The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997 US

It is also free on other countries Amazon sites, just search for the title and it will appear.

Happy reading!

*You don’t need a Kindle to read the book, you can also get a Kindle app for your phone or tablet or use Kindle for PC.

Kindle for PC

Kindle for Android phone

Kindle for iphone and ipad


Chris Holmes Mean Man, Fat Lils, Witney, Wednesday 28th June 2017

I got to hear “Animal (F*ck Like A Beast)” live last night and a little bit of my musical jigsaw of wishes* fell into place.

However, Chris Holmes is a hell of a lot more than old WASP classics. He’s an uncompromising musical breath of fresh air. When you have “Go F*ck Yourself” written up the side of your trousers** you’ve made some career and lifestyle choices and you’re sticking to them hard. Holmes pointed out there was no use of samples tonight, it was all live.

We got a great set of Mean Man songs with WASP classics interspersed. With the Mean Man stuff we got a description of what each song was about. I wondered if there was an EU swearword mountain that Holmes is trying to deplete? If so he did a great job. Were this to be packaged as a VHS in 1980s USA it would groan under the weight of parental advisory stickers. I got a sense of frustrations spent through song writing and putting the world to rights.

Holmes was generous about sharing the stage and a highlight for me was when he got Dean Thirkettle, singer of local covers legends*** Terminus up to sing “I Wanna Be Somebody”. I felt like everybody in the place was somebody tonight. The audience was comprised of seasoned gig goers who don’t let work in the morning stop them getting a musical buzz.


I went to bed happy, wearing my (signed! By your actual Chris Holmes!) T-shirt that proclaims “Chris Holmes I’m A Mean Motherf**king Man”.


Finally, you can watch this recent interview with Chris Holmes in a swimming pool if like me you watched him on Decline Of The Western Civilisation Part II The Metal Years as an impressionable teenager and want to see a more mature re-creation.



*What’s a musical jigsaw of wishes, you might be asking? You probably have one too, it’s all the music you love and want to experience live and you have to fill in the gaps you haven’t done yet. Some of it has needed doing since you were a teenager and you weren’t old enough for gigs or were broke when someone awesome came to town, or tickets sold out. Some of it is stuff you’ve seen once and was so epic you need to see it again. The particular puzzle piece of “Animal (F*ck Like A Beast) has been niggling at me since I saw WASP at Wacken in 2010 and they didn’t play it. I like that it was on a Wednesday, or hump day, when I finally got to hear it. While writing this I attempted the abbreviation “Animal (F.L.A.B)” but didn’t like it.


**Wonder what shop these came from and if the tailor said “Suits You, Sir” when Holmes came out of the dressing room wearing them? They’re definitely not George at Asda.


***Full disclosure, I’m married to the lead guitarist and may not be the most impartial judge. But you can judge for yourself if you come and see them on tour with Stone Trigger and Sykko Dollz in July.



Free Kindle Book Offer

Two of my books are free on kindle until the 6th March. It may seem odd having a free Christmas book offer in March but a few people have said to me they didn’t have time to do much reading in December.


Use this link for a free Kindle copy of Eviscerated Panda A Metal Tale (link opens in a new window) 

Use this link for a free Kindle copy of Tales to Take You To Christmas (link opens in a new window)

Free Kindle Promotion 1st to 3rd January 2017 – The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997


The year 1997 is now 20 years ago. Some of my old T-shirts have become vintage classics. To celebrate, The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997 is free on Kindle from 1st to 3rd January 2017.

It’s also on Soundcloud as an audiobook:

And I can be seen reading it on Youtube:


My Christmas Tales FREE on Kindle This Weekend

I mostly write books about metal bands and teenage girls who love metal but I’ve also written a book of twenty four short Christmas stories. It’s the sort of book you can dip into and out of and doesn’t contain anything rude enough to shock your Mum. It’s a rather jolly tome, if I do say so myself. I ruddy well love Christmas. If you do too, you can download it here:

Feel free to share the link, it’s a sort of early virtual Christmas present.



FREE Kindle ebook this weekend- Eviscerated Panda A Metal Tale

Just for this weekend, my first novel, Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale is FREE on Kindle.


What’s is about? You might be asking, before you give up precious Kindle space. Here’s the blurb:

Eviscerated Panda are a newly formed thrash metal band. They are the brainchild of ageing lead guitarist Phil Winter. They represent his big hope for regaining his former musical self-esteem and his luck with the ladies. Phil had to hastily exit stage left from his last band when his dalliances with the drummer’s fiancée were discovered.
Young singer and underachiever Nick loves the band because it provides an escape from his dull job in a supermarket. For rhythm guitarist Ian it’s all he’s ever wanted to do. For bass player Jim it’s a pleasant hobby, at least to begin with. For drummer Paul it’s a step up from being in a covers band and a sometime causer of arguments between him and his wife.
A band is much more than just the musicians in it, it’s a whole ecosystem. A female perspective is given by close friends Cleo and Jenni as the Pandas play to and hang out with an audience comprised of friends, fans, wives, girlfriends, future girlfriends, lovers, promoters, other bands, interested spectators and uninterested spectators. After a nervous first gig in their native Reading they play in Swindon, Coventry, Oxford, Dudley, Brighton, Birmingham and Camden. In between gigs they mostly go to the pub, eat biscuits, record an E.P, read a girl’s guide to heavy metal written by Cleo, practice and make grandiose plans for their future. Occasionally they get laid. Even more occasionally they get paid to play.