Cleo Howard’s Diary Entry 1999 12th June

In this entry Cleo is very much out of her comfort zone of the Green Man rock pub. I think “I nearly spat out my hooch” is a very 1990s sentence…

Saturday 12th June

Tonight was awful. Instead of going to the Green Man we went to a foam party at RG1s. I almost wish I hadn’t got in. The bouncers said, (loud enough for us and other people to hear) “The Addams Family”, after me, Jenni and Ian walked in. I will never get the image of Ella dancing to Mark Morrison’s “Horny” with a guy she had only just met out of my mind. She was rubbing her arse on his crotch area and when she stopped he had a well obvious stiffy. I nearly spat out my Hooch. Ella is still drinking horrible bloody Marys. She said a tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable. I said tomato should have the decency to taste like a fruit if it’s going to hang around in drinks.

Lex and Mopey came. Lex said Goths like dry ice, but not foam. Ian pretended to be Father Christmas. He asked if I wanted to sit on his knee and tell him what I wanted for Christmas. Sally isn’t out tonight. She has to go for a family meal so she escaped the horrors of RG1s. Mopey is back from uni for the weekend and will soon be back for the summer. He asked Ella if she’s still the main repository for the feckless cum shedders of Berkshire. She asked him if he’s enjoyed getting turned down by a whole new set of women that are too good for him in York. You’d think Mopey could be nice just for one night, it is Ella’s birthday. Then again, she did make us go to RG1s.

We saw horrible Carina Norman who used to be our school bully but none of us spoke to her. When I was queueing for the loo she was there with a girl I don’t know. Carina said “Hi Cleo, have you come to check out some men who actually wash and shave? You must be bored of that fleapit the Green Man by now. I heard it was going to be closed down”. I said “Hi Carina, I’m here for a friend’s birthday, because I’m a good friend, next week I’ll be back in the Green Man with all the lovely hairy bikers”. Then Carina said “Who was that boy band you like? Was it Slayer? I don’t think the DJ will have them so I shouldn’t bother asking”. Then I was about to say something really cutting and clever but there was a free loo so I had a quick wee and ran back to Jenni and Ian. Calling Slayer a boy band is fighting talk but I’m a lover not a fighter.

Ian walked me home. We went on the swings in the park. Then we sat on the grass and blew dandelion clocks. You can tell the time by the number of goes it takes for all the seeds to be blown off. Or you can make a wish. We made wishes. We can’t say what they are or they won’t come true.


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