Recently Snaggletooth has been indulging his sweet tooth. He’s chomped some Nesquik cereal straight from the box, chewed some Curly Wurly Squirlies (I was tempted to arrange them back into the shape of a full size Curly Wurly, like doing a jigsaw), licked some lollies and eaten a Yowie, something I’ve not seen in England since the 90s. This particular Yowie I bought in a CVS pharmacy while on holiday in Florida. The chocolate is not as nice as I remember it but the toy is good, it’s an endangered bird called the Southern Ground Hornbill.
Today and tomorrow (9th and 10th June) I’m offering two of the Cleo Howard diaries free on Kindle. They are usually priced at £1.99 each. They were a lot of fun to write.
The first in the series is The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997.
Here is its blurb: The year is 1997. Cleo Howard is at a very awkward age, she’s sure she’s an adult, so why won’t everyone realise this? Why won’t her chest realise this? Why is Maths so hard? When will she stop feeling sad that her Dad doesn’t live with her and her Mum? Music and men are her twin fascinations and she thanks Almighty Lemmy for metal and mates. Her diary is home to her deepest thoughts, fondest wishes and often what she had for tea.
You can download it from Amazon at The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1997.
The second in the series is The Mega Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1998.
Here is its blurb: The year is 1998. The location is Reading, England. Cleo Howard is almost sixteen years old. It’s going to be a big year. By the end of it she’ll have seen Black Sabbath and Slayer, sat her GCSEs, been alone with a man and Opal Fruits will have been renamed Starburst. It’s a time of great change. Cleo is lucky to have her constant companions Ian and Jenni to help her weather the storms of her world.
You can download it from Amazon at The Mega Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard 1998.
I wish you lots of happy reading this summer and would be delighted if one of the books you read is written by me!
Recently Snaggletooth has eaten a Lion Bar Easter egg, some Beech’s chocolate bunnies, some Marmite Peanut Butter (which tastes a bit like runny dry roasted peanuts) and some RJ’s Liquorice Allsorts which come in unusual flavours and colours that wouldn’t be out of place on a punk album cover.
RJ’s Liquorice Allsorts come in banana, raspberry, orange and lime flavour and I bought them at a local garden centre. They cost a whopping £3.99 but I treated us because I was sad. Garden centres remind me that my grandparents are dead. The raspberry ones just taste sweet, but Snag and I detected a bit of flavour in all the others, with the banana being most successful.
I’ve written a book of 24 short stories about Christmas and made it free to download on Amazon until May 15th 2019. Just use the links below if you’d like a copy (links open in a new window):
Tales to Take You to Christmas UK link
Tales to Take You to Christmas US link
It is also free on all the other Amazon sites.
I got the idea for the book when I was looking for an unusual advent calendar for my mum. I decided that if I wrote 24 short stories, it would be an advent calendar in book form.
I took inspiration for the cover from a page of one of my favourite Ladybird books. Ladybird books are some of the first books I read. My dad used to bring me one home on a Friday night when he got paid. He inspired my love of reading and my love of Christmas. All of the decorations used for my book cover have hung on either my parents’ or grandparents’ Christmas trees when I was a child.
Below are the first pages of four of my Christmas stories.
This week Snaggletooth has been making a start on Easter goodies despite Easter Sunday not being until the 21st April. He’s had a lemon Bakewell, some purple Peeps, some Easter gummies all the way from Slovakia and a little Lindt egg.
This week Snaggletooth has been crunching pulled pork flavour crisps, slurping boozy liqueur chocolates (liqueur is one of those words I always have to think about how to spell), nibbling caramel chocolate bunnies and also strawberry and cream flavour Lindor chocolates.
I’ve now fed 376 things to Snaggletooth and am going to feed him another 290. Then I’ll look for another weird hobby.
This week Snaggletooth has been very sweet toothed. He’s been eating coloured liquorice, peanut butter and chocolate hearts, a cigar made of bubble gum and some chocolate caramel snowmen.
This week Snaggletooth has been eating fancy KitKats, Girl Scout cookies bought on holiday in Tampa, an Almond Joy bar (which is like a Bounty bar but with two bonus almond nipples hiding under chocolate) and some peanut butter and chocolate Easter bunnies.
Recently Snaggletooth has eaten tiffin with little pink hearts, sesame prawn toast, pesto pasta and island rum flavour coconut patties (bought on holiday in Tampa, Florida).
This week Snaggletooth’s tooth has been exclusively sweet. He’s eaten mango flavour Pocky (which I got from the fab Japan Centre near Piccadilly Circus), chocolate doughnuts made by the delightfully named Otis Spunkmeyer, a Freddo Treasures and some unicorn edition Jammie Dodgers.