Snaggletooth has nibbled some coconut ice recently, it’s full of sugar and pleasingly pink. He’s also chomped some homemade sundried tomato and olive bread. Homemade bread has become a thing during the coronavirus pandemic. Since Christmas is approaching he’s had a pigs in blankets pot noodle which was surprisingly edible and some ham flavour Pringles which are a good addition to the Pringles suite of potato snacks.
One bright spot in an otherwise way too full of pandemic 2020 has been the new AC/DC album.
Here are my predictions of what the songs will be about based on AC/DC’s previous albums; I predict 5 songs about sex, 2 about love, 2 about rocking (the importance of), 1 about crime, 1 about the human condition and 1 about the rejection of social norms.
As with all my previous categorisations, songs can be in two categories if they don’t fit neatly in one or are ambiguous. I have an Excel file to record my decisions.
Realize – this is about personal power/ego, supporting lyric “I’ve got the power to hypnotize.”
Rejection – another song about personal power/ego, there’s acting the big I am all over this song, supporting lyric “Better keep me on your side, or I’ll find you in the night.”
Shot In The Dark – this is about sex, supporting lyric is all of them, but especially “a long night pumping.” When I first begun listening to AC/DC I may have been naïve enough to think this was about blowing up balloons but now I know better.
Through The Mists Of Time – this is about nostalgia/sex, we have a new category here with nostalgia. Some of AC/DC’s first dalliances are likely to have had knee replacements now. A sobering thought. We’d all love to go back to the Saturday nights of our late teens and early twenties, when the world was shiny and new for us and our groins throbbed to the beat of an un-ignorable drum. Supporting lyric “Through the mists of time, And the painted faces, Looking so divine.”
Kick You When You’re Down – this is about sex, supporting lyric “Why do you kick me outta bed?” It reminds me of “Shot Down In Flames” a bit.
Witch’s Spell – another one about sex, this song is from a long line of rock songs about the dark arts of women and their ability to be all enchanting and that. Supporting lyric “Got a tale to tell, Caught in a witch’s spell. Crystal balls and an almanac.” It’s a little known fact that AC/DC once received a yearlong forecast of what would be their sexual fortunes from a highly specialised mystic. It was called the almanackers and all copies have sadly been lost.
Demon Fire – this song seems to be about a sort of sexy criminal, so I’m going to categorise it as sex and crime. Supporting crime lyric “Give me no quarrel, lives of crime”, supporting sex lyric “Demon fire is all you desire.”
Wild Reputation –this is about crime, supporting lyrics “On a hot summer day, Dollar bills come your way, Somebody robbed the bank.”
No Man’s Land – this is about war, supporting lyric “Fight and live another day.”
Systems Down – usually when you hear going down in a hard rock song you conclude swiftly what it’s about, and I see no need to go on a longer mental journey, this is a sex song, supporting lyric “This furnace is about to blast.”
Money Shot – could this be about a COVID-19 vaccine and the significant scientific challenges to be addressed? Nah, it’s about sex again. Phew! What we want from AC/DC is escapism, we’ll read The Lancet, BMJ or New Scientist if we want to know about vaccines.
Supporting lyric “Lady, just try the money shot (Best taken when hot).”
Code Red – I can’t tell if this is about sex or war so I’m categorizing it as both. Supporting lyric “Weapons ready.” I think the lyric “Sleeping on a waterfall” might be nonsense but necessary because it rhymes.
In conclusion we have 6.5 songs about sex, 2 about personal power/ego, 1.5 about war, 1.5 about crime and 0.5 about nostalgia.
My initial predictions were about half right. I underestimated the amount of sex AC/DC would spaff out at us in this musical offering.
One of the best things about this AC/DC album is that it’s an AC/DC album. There’s no new direction, no attempt to do something different, because when you got it so right so long ago you don’t have to change.
Here is the updated pie chart of AC/DC studio albums by song topic;
AC/DC have enlivened our rather lacklustre 2020 for which I thank them. Will we get to see AC/DC live in 2021 or 2022? I really hope so. Many of their classic album covers are now available as jigsaws but as an experience it won’t beat live music. Maybe their next album will feature a song about doing one of their jigsaws?
Snaggletooth has had the taste for fruity things of late. He’s enjoyed apple and rhubarb crumble cake from Waitrose (if you can’t spoil yourself in a pandemic when can you?) and peach and passion fruit jaffa cakes from M&S. Fancy! He’s also had homemade fruit bread and some mini mince pies.
Snaggletooth has enjoyed Eton mess bites, a winter spice Twix, some dark chocolate gingers and some butterscotch whippy dessert recently.
The whippy dessert made me think of when my neighbours who lived next door but one in the 1980s saved packets from Instant Whip and sent away for free T-shirts. Not only did they get to eat loads of Instant Whip, they also got some pretty cool summer clothing.
Snaggletooth has been in a lemony mood lately. He’s had some lemon drizzle biscuits and some lemon meringue bites. He’s also enjoyed some spicy Bombay potato and some toffee cheesecake.
Snaggletooth thinks food is one of the pleasures left to us while living in a pandemic. He’s chomped cheeseburger flavour crisps, he’s munched Munchies because that’s explicitly what they want you do with them, he’s slurped Hello Kitty pasta shapes and he’s very much enjoyed a Cecil the caterpillar cake. Cecil is Waitrose’s answer to M&S’s Colin the caterpillar and the two chaps look like cousins to me, they are very similar.
I have not made jam tarts for a very long time, but I did during lock down, so Snaggletooth had a nibble. It’s quite relaxing persuading jam to fall off a spoon. Snaggletooth has also eaten Opal Fruits (hooray for the sweets that were always present on 1980s holiday car journeys), a picnic during national picnic month (July 2020) and some dark chocolate Hobnobs.
Snaggletooth has had two types of flapjack recently, some HobNob peanut butter fudge ones and some cherry and sultana ones which were bought at a garden centre. Right now we’re in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 and going to a garden centre is quite a nice change from staying indoors. Snaggletooth has also has some katsu curry crisps and some fancy Godiva chocolate biscuits with hearts on. He hopes you’re all staying safe and washing your hands.
Snaggletooth has tasted home made chocolate chip cookies, pineapple Jaffa Cakes, jammy coconut rings and marmalade on toast flavour chocolate digestives recently. The only shop I have been to for the past seven weeks has been my local Co-op but they have enough stuff to keep Snag stocked with treats. I hope everyone is staying safe and well during the coronavirus pandemic and finding some ways to be happy.
It’s been Easter recently so most of Snaggletooth’s comestibles have been Easter related with the exception of the cherry bakewell digestives he ate just before. He felt lucky to get a bag of Haribo that was mostly red ones, he chomped a Peeps rabbit and on Easter Sunday a Double Decker Easter egg was his snack of choice.
Easter 2020 has been a strange one due to the coronavirus necessitated lock down. I hope everyone out there is staying home and staying safe.