I’m surprised that my strange hobby of feeding things to Snaggletooth continues and I’m not even at the half way point yet (I’ve decided that I’m going to feed 666 things to Snaggletooth).
On June 25th Snaggletooth celebrated half Christmas with a Christmas pudding. It was a posh one and he enjoyed the candied clementine in the middle, however, he thinks calling it a hidden clementine is overdoing it, because he knew where it was, it was just unseen. Hopefully Heston will be calling this an unseen clementine Christmas pudding next year.
Snaggletooth has also recently enjoyed a custard slice. I used to always have a custard slice in Stewarts Garden Centre in Christchurch when on holiday with my grandparents. Some pineapple and a large sugary strawberries and cream flavour biscuit completes this set of four things Snaggletooth has eaten recently.
If there is anything you’d like to see Snaggletooth eat then let me know…
It’s been sweet and savoury for the Snagster this week. He’s had Twiglets (yes, you can buy them when it’s not Christmas) and a Topic, some Squares crisps and peach French Fancies. If only Mr Kipling had made them giant peach French Fancies, taking even more inspiration from Roald Dahl’s book.
I’ve now fed 288 things to Snaggletooth! He’s had caramel digestives because 29th May is National Biscuit Day. He’s had fish and chips because 1st June is National Fish & Chip Day. He’s had apple, celery and raisin salad (it can’t be all chips and biscuits) and apple with natural yogurt and honey. Thanks bees!
Snaggletooth has been eating chocolate icing straight from the tub, rhubarb and pear crumble, prawn crackers and a vanilla Vienna (a creation of Iceland’s that is clearly an homage to the mighty Viennetta). I have now fed 280 things to Snaggletooth since June 2016 and this has become one of my weird hobbies, along with writing nostalgic heavy metal fiction.
Snaggletooth has been in a sweet toothed mood recently. He’s chomped strawberry bon bons and a strawberry flavour Vienna ice cream. He’s also made a chocolate panda very endangered and eaten icing straight out of the tub without even putting cake under it because he’s so very rock and roll.
Recently Snaggletooth has been finishing off things left from Christmas (Nell Gwynne mulled cider* and a Nerds holiday rope) and eating pink things (Peeps bunnies and Sweetarts cherry ropes). He doesn’t advise you to follow his diet plan, it’s only suitable for giant disembodied heads.
*For some unfathomable reason I was dressed as Nell Gwynne as a toddler in 1977 as part of a playgroup fancy dress event for the Silver Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II. I can only assume that my Nan had to come up with a costume at very short notice and decided to focus on the orange selling part of Nell’s career rather than the being the mistress of Charles II part of her career. Also, it was the 1970s and a bylaw had been passed stating that everything must be either orange or brown or unable to stand up to the scrutiny of future generations.
I’m married to a guitarist who loves Joe Bonamassa so our annual vacation has been the Keeping The Blues Alive at Sea festival for the past two years. I’m way more of a metal fan than a blues fan but I love the festival because I love being around people who love music, on a massive floating luxury hotel, with unlimited ice cream. I even got some heavy metal highlights this year, which shouldn’t surprise me, since metal evolved from the blues.
So, in no particular order, here are my heavy highlights;
It was great to hear Black Country Communion on the pool deck stage and in conversation. I love that Glenn Hughes has chosen deep purple as his trouser colour. I also liked it when he said we’re all on a journey together because we actually were, from Miami to Jamaica, rather than the more metaphorical one he usually means. The last time I saw him I was on a journey from Wolverhampton to Oxford. It wasn’t mystical but I did enjoy Warwick services.
I got to hear a snippet of The Hunter (I know it from Danzig, but it originates from Albert King) during Joe Bonamassa’s Led Zep “How Many More Times” cover on the pool deck stage.
Larkin Poe did an awesome cover of War Pigs in the cosy Bar City stage on Thursday. Horns were thrown by many members of the audience. I met them in the corridor and they happily posed for a photo with me and made my day.
Toronzo Cannon is not just an amazing story telling blues man from Chicago, he’s also a bit Spinal Tap. During the song Fine Seasoned Woman he talked about a marshmallow test he does to check the lady he’s going to give his attentions to has the cushion for the pushin’. He won’t do the dirty with women under 31 years old, which is quite specific. Also he claims to keep his marshmallows in the fridge.
Finally, the ship is very heavy, it weighs just over 93,500 gross tons, see the Wikipedia entry for the Norwegian Jade here. Its beautiful carpets are worth a mention, the masks one reminds me of Motley Crue’s Theatre Of Pain album cover and the dragons one makes me think of Dio and The Clash.