AC/DC have given us 162 songs on 16 studio albums. That’s a wealth of great tunes. Of these 162 songs, there are 71 songs about sex,

16.5 about love,

17.5 about rocking (the importance of),

13.5 about crime,

11.5 about personal power/ego,

11 about the human condition,

5 about rejection of social norms

4 about war,

3 about parties

3 about alcohol

2 about gambling

2 about television

1 about loneliness

1 about bad weather.

To answer the question of was the Bon era or Brian era sexiest – Bon sex songs count is 21, Brian sex songs count is 50. However, we got 6 Bon albums and 10 Brian ones. So, 21 songs divided between 6 albums is 3.5 sex songs per album on average, while 50 songs divided between 10 albums is 5 sex songs per album on average, demonstrating that the Brian era is a bit sexier.

What I’d really like to do now is put all the AC/DC lyrics into some software (maybe NVivo) and answer questions like how many times have AC/DC used the words honey and hard? I’m also working on rewriting “Have a Drink on Me” to be about eating biscuits and having sex. It’ll be re-titled Hobnob with me. Watch this space…

The final album we’re looking at is Rock or Bust. We’ve got fourteen categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms, alcohol, war, television and bad weather.

The Songs

Rock or Bust – rocking (the importance of), supporting lyrical evidence “In rock we trust, it’s rock or bust”.

Play Ball – this is half parties and half alcohol, supporting parties lyrical evidence “I said, it’s party time”, supporting alcohol lyrical evidence “Fill my cup, pour me another round”.

Rock the Blues Away – this is half rocking (the importance of) and half the human condition because it’s about using rocking to cope with life. Supporting lyrical evidence “We won’t get the blues because we rock the blues away”.

Miss Adventure – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Feelin’ like some hot cross buns, love you, love you all the night”.

Dogs of War – war, obviously.

Got Some Rock & Roll Thunder – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence “I said feeling great and ready to roll, I got the rock and roll thunder”.

Hard Times – the human condition, we all have hard times, supporting lyrical evidence “Hard times, blue and sad”. I would have predicted from the title alone that this song would be about sex.

Baptism by Fire –gambling, supporting lyrical evidence “Play your hand, come on and play your hand”.

Rock the House – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Mistress, mistress, all night long, hey, ooh keep on coming” and the unhygienic sounding “Hot to the taste, oozin’ out on my plate”.

Sweet Candy – sex, this seems to be about watching a pole dancer called Candy (probably not her real name), supporting lyrical evidence “She do a dance, slides down a pole, she turn a backflip, make your heart roll”.

Emission Control – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Turn on emission, the engine comes alive, she takes to pairing mama, like a lion ready to strike”. In this song engine = penis.

Conclusion – this album is 36% sex, 14% rocking (the importance of), 14% human condition, 9% war, 9% personal power/ego, 9% gambling, 4.5% parties and 4.5% alcohol.

There are no more AC/DC studio albums to dissect. Next I’m going to look at all 16 albums (162 songs) together and see which are the most popular lyrical topics. I’m also going to look at Bon era and Brian era songs and calculate which era was most about sex.

The next album we’re looking at is Black Ice. We’ve got thirteen categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms, alcohol, war and television.

The Songs

Rock ‘n’ Roll Train – sex, the train in this song is a woman “You know she’s just like a runaway train”.

Skies on Fire – I think this is a love song, supporting lyrical evidence “I know you and, you know me, tell me what it is you want it to be, what you want to be, what you need in me”.

Big Jack – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence “Big Jack, Big Jack, he said that he’s the only one who got a full sack”. Big Jack sounds like a show off to me.

Anything Goes – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “You know she’s blowing away all the others, you’re never man enough take it on all night”.

War Machine – war. It’s right there in the title.

Smash ‘n’ Grab – crime, supporting lyrical evidence “Steal the money, I’m taking while I can”.

Spoilin’ for a Fight – love, it’s a bit confused but this seems to be a fighting with a lady type of song, supporting lyrical evidence “Then you’re fighting all night, with my rocking shoes, cause I’m hungry for you”. Why fight with someone’s shoes?

Wheels – sex, the vehicle in this song is a woman. Supporting lyrical evidence “Ain’t no fakin’ she wanna take you out, you betcha right, she’s gonna spin you ’round”. This is the sort of woman that would not update her sat nav before an unfamiliar journey.

Decibel – rocking (the importance of), supporting lyrical evidence “They’re in there rocking standing proud, decibel, that’s the history of rock and roll”.

Stormy May Day – this song needs a new category of bad weather. Supporting lyrical evidence “The storm is raging, winds are howling”.

She Likes Rock ‘n’ Roll – rocking (the importance of), supporting lyrical evidence “We gonna rock you now, rockin’ and rollin’ all in the town, you’re gonna make it right, we’re gonna need to rock all night”.

Money Made – this sounds like the rejection of social norms to me, supporting lyrical evidence “She couldn’t get away, spending cash all about, the die was cast, there’s no burning out” which implies being trapped into a lifestyle.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Dream – This is bewildering. It asks two questions “Where goes a woman with a warm embrace? and “Does a man walk in the hard rain?” I think the sharks in this song might be women and I’ll guess this is about them being predatory in some way “You pretty women gather ’round, you can’t pick up not a single sound, you feel you’re winning, that’s what it’s all about”. I’m going to say it’s sex because that’s a very likely option but it reads like something written by someone who ate way too much cheese the night before.

Rocking All the Way – this is straightforwardly about sex, supporting lyrical evidence “She’s goin’ all the way, she’s comin’ out to play, she’s sexy in her boots, tear up all the news”. It’s unclear why one sexy person wearing boots means that news should be torn up. Surely some of the people not busy with sexy things would like a newspaper?

Black Ice – crime, supporting lyrical evidence “I’ll kick, I creep crawl down your street, and gouge your eyes out”.

Conclusion – We got a new category of bad weather with 7% of this album being about a “Stormy May Day”. This album is 33% sex, 13% love, 13% crime, 13% rocking (the importance of), 7% personal power/ego, 7% war and 7% social norms.

The final album we’ll look at is Rock or Bust.

The next album we’re looking at is Stiff Upper Lip. We’ve got twelve categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms, alcohol and war.

The Songs

Stiff Upper Lip – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Now, I warn you ladies, I shoot from the hip, I was born with a stiff, stiff upper lip”.

Meltdown – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “I look at her libido, hey hey hey”.

House of Jazz – I don’t know what a house of jazz is. Most of the song seems to be about people arguing on telly, supporting lyrical evidence “Kickin’ and a fightin’ on a TV show”. I can’t tell if the house of jazz is a refuge or a place where this ridiculous type of programme is made. There’s not enough conflict for this to be categorised as war. I was going to call it the human condition because we’ve all seen this kind of telly but when I looked at Satellite Blues later on this album I decided I needed a new category called television to put this in.

Hold Me Back – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence “You can’t hold me back, you get a heart attack”.

Safe in New York City – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Come on over baby and I’ll make you obscene”.

Can’t Stand Still – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence “From morning ’till midnight, you know I can’t stand still”.

Can’t Stop Rock ‘n’ Roll – rocking (the importance of), supporting lyrical evidence “I said you can’t stop rock n roll”.

Satellite Blues – this seems to be about getting a satellite telly dish and then becoming dissatisfied with it and sending it back. Supporting lyrical evidence “A picture clear for watchin’, the dish is running hot”, then “Can’t get nothing on the dial, the frickin’ thing’s gone wild” and “This thing’s nothing but a load of crap, I’m gonna send it right back”. This is in the television category.

Damned – I’m calling this social norms because it’s about things society (or mainstream sections of it) frowns upon. Supporting lyrical evidence “I’ll be damned if I drink or smoke, damned if I steal your joke”.

Come and Get It – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “I’ve got my filly wrapped in red, upon my double decker bed”. Double decker bed implies that AC/DC have bunk beds. I bet they’re so cool they don’t even use the ladder to access the top bunk, the probably just jump down. The backing vocals on this track are quite sinister.

All Screwed Up – this is about being brung low by a woman (maybe a woman who doesn’t like bunk beds?), supporting lyrical evidence “And when you can’t take no more, then she push you out that door” so I’m categorising it as love. The Ramones also have an excellent song called All Screwed Up with the same theme.

Give It Up – sex, supporting sex lyrical evidence “Sitting pretty, all ready to bite, she givin’ up a bit of cream delight”. Later in the song we hear “Well, there’s a big storm a-howlin’, around here, and there be no wine, no cinnamon and no beer”, why is cinnamon such a necessity? Was a post-coital crumble going to be made? I always add cinnamon to a crumble.

Conclusion – We’ve had a new category of television, with 17% of the album on this topic. There is 42% sex, 17% personal power/ego, 8% rocking (the importance of), 8% social norms and 8% love.

The next album we’ll look at is 2008’s Black Ice.

The next album we’re looking at is Ballbreaker. We’ve got twelve categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms, alcohol and war.

The Songs

Hard as a Rock – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “She gives a lickin’ that doesn’t stop” and the delightful “Her hot potatoes, will elevate you”. These are sex potatoes.

Cover You in Oil – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Pull on the zip, she give good lip service” and “She make you hot, you spray your lot”.

The Furor – sex and crime, this seems to be a song about escaping from the law to a woman, supporting crime lyrical evidence “Frame of mind, cross the line to a new state, I can shake the law”, supporting sex lyrical evidence “I’m your furor baby”. This song makes me think of the Zodiac Mindwarp lyric “Sex fuhrer baby, I’m the love dictator”. Maybe Zodiac Mindwarp will be the next band to get an album by album lyrical dissection complete with pie charts.

Boogie Man – sex. At this point, will you just trust me without me giving you supporting lyrical evidence?

The Honey Roll – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Honey roll over, and lettuce on top”.

Burnin’ Alive – war, supporting lyrical evidence “It’s an all out war, an all out war”.

Hail Caesar – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence is all of it, it’s about the historical figure Julius Caesar from the Romans.

Love Bomb – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Open your bays and drop those bombs away”. Bombs = sperms in this instance.

Caught with Your Pants Down – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Woman workin’ so hot, givin’ it everything you got”.

Whiskey on the Rocks – alcohol, supporting lyrical evidence “I’ve been drinkin’ all night long”.

Ballbreaker – sex, perhaps very specifically the sort where when climax is impending the sensation is heightened by reducing oxygen supply. Anyway, whatever is happening here isn’t vanilla, supporting lyrical evidence “She threw me on the bed, her hand went for my throat, as I began to choke, she said, Honey shoot your load”.

Conclusion – This album is 68% sex, 9% war, 9% personal power/ego, 9% alcohol and 5% crime.

The next album we’ll look at is 2000’s Stiff Upper Lip.

The next album we’re looking at is The Razors Edge. I got this on cassette for Christmas 1990.  It has twelve songs rather than the ten we’ve been used to (ten makes calculating percentages very easy, I like ten songs on an album).

We’ve got twelve categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms, alcohol and war.

The Songs

Thunderstruck – personal power/ego and sex, personal power/ego supporting lyrical evidence “It’s alright, we’re doin’ fine, fine, fine, thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah”, sex supporting lyrical evidence “We met some girls, some dancers who gave a good time”.

Fire Your Guns – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “That lady bites, hard style, drips of sex, eyes are wild”. Does anyone else think drips of sex sounds a bit horrible?

Moneytalks – the human condition (we’ve all have the understanding that money provides opportunity and luxury), supporting lyrical evidence “Come on, come on, listen to the moneytalk”.

The Razors Edge – the human condition, lyrically this is a confusing song, seeming to both threaten death with “You’re running out of lives” and to suggest reanimation with “Razors edge, to cut to shreds, to raise the dead”. I personally would have called this album Thunderstruck and made that the title track. A lot of bands tried to be serious in the 90s, but don’t worry, the next song on the album is far from serious.

Mistress for Christmas – sex at the most wonderful time of the year, supporting lyrical evidence “I like female form in minimum dress” and “I want to ride on your reindeer honey and ring the bells”.

Rock Your Heart Out – rocking (the importance of), supporting lyrical evidence “You gotta rock your heart out”. We haven’t had a song about the importance of rocking since For Those About to Rock (We Salute You) four albums ago!

Are You Ready – sex, I think with a prostitute, supporting lyrical evidence “Sweet apple pie, standing in the street” and “She making eyes, at everything she meet, ain’t it a crime”.

Got You by the Balls – sex, again with a prostitute, supporting lyrical evidence “She won’t come across, unless there’s money in her hand”. This song has the puzzling lyric “This one likes to tease, with a special service, in French quantities”. I have no idea what a French quantity is and how it compares to an English one. I’ve just Googled it and found a BBC GCSE Bitesize French Quantities Quiz and had a go and I got 6 out of 10. I now know a bit more about French quantities. They aren’t very sexy.

Shot of Love – love, supporting lyrical evidence “It’s the best shot of your life, shot of love” and “A humping and a bumping till we start a fire”. This song also contains a line I strongly suspect is only included because it’s needed to rhyme with the line after it “I’ll drink some water from a wooden cup. Keep a rocking till the sun comes up”. Keeping a rocking all night long is very AC/DC, but some Adam’s ale from a vessel made of tree is less so but it does rhyme.

Let’s Make It – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Come on give me some love, you’re driving me wild”.

Goodbye and Good Riddance to Bad Luck, the human condition, we’ve all been down on our luck, supporting lyrical evidence “And I’m down on the game, always in trouble”.

If You Dare – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Woman won’t you come outside and play”.

Conclusion – this album is 8.3% the welcome return of the topic rocking (the importance of), 54.1% sex, 25% human condition, 8.3% love and 4.2% personal power/ego.

The next album we’ll look at is 1995’s Ballbreaker.

The next album we’re looking at is 1988’s Blow Up Your Video. A video sounds quite quaint now but I remember when this album first came out and videos were everywhere. I used to regularly go to my local video shop, Titan Video. I find this album super exciting, maybe because it’s the first one that was brand new AC/DC for me, it was released after I’d been listening to them for a couple of years.

We’ve got eleven categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms and alcohol.

The Songs

Heatseeker – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence “I’m a heatseeker charging up the sky”.

That’s The Way I Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll – Parties, supporting lyrical evidence “Party gonna happen at the union hall”.

Meanstreak – rejection of social norms, supporting lyrical evidence “I ain’t met no one who told me I got class” and “I always kick the castle that’s been built up on the beach” – a very anti-establishment image.

Go Zone – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “when the beaver sing let me out I’m closin’ in”.

Kissin’ Dynamite – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “she plays her games at night”.

Nick of Time – crime, but potentially from the unusual angle of escaping a life of crime, supporting lyrical evidence “Everybody trying to find you guilty, make you want to tow the line”.

Some Sin for Nuthin – I’m going to call this crime, and assume some sins are equivalent to crimes. This song is specifically about gaining from sin, supporting lyrical evidence “Ain’t gonna sin for nothing”.

Ruff Stuff – I’m fairly sure this is about sex but it might be about linen cambric, which is what ruffs were made of in Elizabethan times. Supporting sex lyrical evidence “She like to play around”.

Two’s Up – sex and gambling, supporting sex lyrical evidence “Love the way you girls work out, and make the partnership”, supporting gambling lyrical evidence “Down to my last dime, I ain’t got the sense to leave, the dealer’s cutting fine”.

This Means War – We have a new category here, war. Supporting lyrical evidence “I said this means war, this means war”.

Conclusion – This album is 35% sex, 20% crime, 10% personal power/ego, 10% parties, 10% rejection of social norms, 10% war and 5% gambling.

The next album we’ll look at is 1990’s The Razors Edge.

The next album we’re looking at is 1985’s Fly on the Wall.

We’ve got eleven categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms and alcohol.

The Songs

Fly on the Wall – human condition, supporting lyrical evidence “I was trapped like a fly on the wall, I was caged like a zoo animal”.

Shake Your Foundations – parties, supporting lyrical evidence “You want to come and I’ll meet you at the door”.

First Blood – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Maybe wrong, maybe right, but I like it every night”. It is possible I’ve misunderstood this song and it’s about black pudding.

Danger – partly crime and partly alcohol, crime supporting lyrical evidence “The cops could not appreciate my natural charm”, alcohol supporting evidence “Another night of drinkin’, just one before I’m through”.

Sink the Pink – it’s very hard to know if this is about pool or sex or both. Pool supporting lyrical evidence “She wanna give it a shot, hit the spot, then I’m gonna rack ’em up, get that hot”, sex supporting lyrical evidence “Put your gear into fire, lay your bullets on the ground, turn your head to desire”. If a penis is a gun then bullets are sperm. I’m going to categorise this as sex.

Playing with Girls – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Lookin’ for the good-time girls in their black nylon tights”.

Stand Up – sex, of the swift upright variety, supporting lyrical evidence “Stand up, stand up and make it”.

Hell or High Water – I’m going to call this the human condition but I’ve spent ages thinking about it and it might just be rhyming gibberish. When I categorise a song as the human condition I mean universal themes that everyperson can relate to, supporting lyrical evidence “Mama done told me, Daddy done scold me”. We’ve all been told things and scolded.

Back in Business – half crime, half personal power/ego, crime supporting lyrical evidence “You want some trouble, I’m the king of vice, I’m a wreckin’ ball, I’m a stingin’ knife”, personal power/ego supporting lyrical evidence “I’m a cannon ball goin’ down the track”.

Send for the Man – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “You make a black sheep a ram, this ain’t a gun in my pocket, I got the goods in my hand”.

Conclusion – this album is 50% sex, 20% human condition, 10% parties, 10% crime, 5% personal power/ego and 5% alcohol. By this point in AC/DC’s career they had probably decided to make half of every album about sex. I wonder what other mucky lines we’ll find under Brian’s hat in the next six albums? I’d like him to challenge himself by making a song that sounds like it’s about biscuits but is really about sex, something like “select my pink wafer from the Rover family assortment”, or “Melt my Tim Tam” or “Rip the foil off my Fruit Club”. 

The next album we’ll look at is Blow Up Your Video. It was just before 1988 when I began listening to AC/DC and I can remember the excitement of Blow Up Your Video being released!

The next album we’re looking at is 1983’s Flick of the Switch.

We’ve got eleven categories of lyrical content to choose from (and if none of these fit we’ll create new ones). Our categories so far are; sex, gambling, rocking (the importance of), love, personal power/ego, crime, loneliness, parties, the human condition, rejection of social norms and alcohol.

The Songs

Rising Power – love, supporting lyrical evidence “You’ve got a love life up all night”.

This House Is on Fire – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Hot personality, she bring on the flames.

Flick of the Switch – sex, of the complicated, messy, electric kind, supporting lyrical evidence “With a flick of the switch she’ll blow you sky high”.

Nervous Shakedown – crime, supporting lyrical evidence “Law is gonna get you this time, and throw away the key”

Landslide – personal power/ego, supporting lyrical evidence “He’s out to win, he got the lot to top the last shot”.

Guns for Hire – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “My gun’s for hire, shoot you with desire”. In this song gun = penis, as we’ve already seen in Shoot to Thrill.

Deep in the Hole – love, supporting lyrical evidence “That woman got me deep in the hole”.

Bedlam in Belgium – crime, specifically a gig that local law enforcers were not keen should take place “We wanted to play, play for the crowd, law said no way”.

Badlands – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “I got a .45 that’ll make you fry”. This is the second song on this album to use the gun = penis metaphor!

Brain Shake – sex, supporting lyrical evidence “Cause she’s a joy to ride”.

Conclusion – this album is 50% sex, 20% love, 20 crime and 10% personal power/ego. It’s quite heavy on the gun = penis metaphor, okay guys, we get it, you’re packing a considerable weapon in the trouser region. Of course I could be wrong about my interpretations and “I got a .45 that’ll make you fry” could be referring to a situation in which someone is coerced at gunpoint into cooking a full English breakfast.

The next album we’ll look at is Fly on the Wall.