We Love Metal Dot Com have reviewed all of the Eviscerated Panda books and all of Cleo Howard’s diaries. Their lovely reviewer Surdus is based in Canada and we always end up having a long email chat about the things which are unique to growing up British. I never know what these things are until my book lands in Canada, this time it was Wellies and previously I discovered that there are exciting ice cream flavours, such as orange and pineapple, that we don’t have here in England.
Feeding Things To Snaggletooth Part 13
The Nearly New Millennium Diary Of Cleo Howard 1999 August 20th and 21st
Friday 20th August
I started reading Introducing Feminism from the library. A photo fell out. It’s of a man in white trousers and no shirt, stood in a living room in front of a brown sofa. There are orange curtains in the background. The photographer has accidentally cut off the man’s head. The man has a massive stiffy! You can see the outline clearly through his trousers. I’m using it as a bookmark.
Mum bought tinned corned beef and Spam home from work today but didn’t buy any sweets. This is poor household management (Jenni’s Mum Pam says household management should be taught at school). Mum denied she is making a long life food cupboard, as recommended by an unhinged guest on Richard and Judy. We already have loads of cheap slightly dented tins.
Saturday 21st August
I suppose the photographer might have been distracted by the stiffy and so cut the head off the man in the photograph by mistake or maybe she or he only wanted to remember the stiffy. Maybe they didn’t realise the stiffy until they got the photos back from Boots or Truprint or wherever. It’s a mystery as well as a bookmark. When I take the book back I might leave it in, but then it might fall out and the librarian might think it’s mine, or maybe a feminist will borrow the book after me and think it’s a plot by anti-feminists to make feminists look at dicks.
The new Red Hot Chili Pepper’s album Californication is on the Green Man jukebox. Ella likes it. I don’t. It’s slow and bland. It sounds like trying to eat a whole loaf of white bread with no Nutella on. Ella looked different tonight. She said Craig doesn’t like her wearing loads of make-up and a Wonderbra. She is meeting him from work. Lizzie asked her tonight why she is going out with him. Ella said he’s good in bed. She wishes they didn’t work together though. When she was on her break yesterday he said she’s getting fat on pizza and they didn’t speak to each other until the end of the shift. Shot said someone she works with in Woolies asked her out but she said she had a boyfriend and since then he won’t come and help her on the till. Another man keeps making rude comments about her bum when she walks past him. She wants to tell him to fuck off but he’s one of the supervisors. It is hard for women in the workplace according to Introducing Feminism and it seems that in actual life in Reading women are being undermined in the labour force. I wish I knew what to do about this. Maybe I will by the time I’ve finished Introducing Feminism.
Ian, STR and Ryan are having band practice tomorrow. They still need a bass player.
Out Take From Very Metal Diary Episode 17 – Startled!
My husband was home earlier than usual today so I accidentally captured my startle response on camera. I think there could be some horror film work for me in the future 😉
Feeding Things To Snaggletooth Part 12
Episode 14 of The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard now available on youTube
Wearing a Hole T-shirt and looking a bit grumpy is a great 90s look. If you’d like to hear me read the July 17th to 31st entries you can do so here:
The Nearly New Millennium Diary Of Cleo Howard 1999 reviewed by Two Guys Metal Reviews
The ever encouraging and wonderfully named Matt Bacon of Two Guys Metal Reviews had some kind words to say about The Nearly New Millennium Diary Of Cleo Howard 1999. You can read them here: http://www.twoguysmetalreviews.com/2016/08/the-nearly-new-millenium-diary-of-cleo.html
Olympics Based Chocolate Eggs For Snaggletooth
If being rock ‘n’ roll was an Olympic sport Snaggletooth would win a gold medal. He’s been enjoying some chocolate eggs that he usually only eats at Easter, some Wotsits, some raspberries and some Swiss roll this week. When he eats Swiss roll it becomes Swiss rock ‘n’ roll. I wonder if in Switzerland they just call it roll? Any Swiss readers please do get in touch and let me know.
Feeding Things To Snaggletooth Part 10
I’m Not With The Band by Sylvia Patterson
Writing mainly for Smash Hits and NME, Sylvia has a career which sounds enviable apart from the financial insecurity and the rather scary situations you find yourself in if you’ve annoyed Cypress Hill and Eminem. Although some of the bands and musicians she talks about are not to my taste, a great many of them are (she’s actually a massive Goth, despite the Smash Hits job). Sylvia’s obsessive love of music chimes with my own so I loved this book. She has met some amazing personalities (and is one herself I think). Just to whet your appetite, this book contains meetings with; Spike Milligan, David Attenborough, Noel Gallagher, Kylie, Bros, Shaun Ryder, Posh and Becks, Johnny Cash and many, many more (as those records made by K-Tel and sold in Woollies always used to say). Written with an emotional honesty that makes for a sad read at times this book is just wonderful. It’s full of musical nostalgia and at the end provides an interesting industry insiders view on the state of popular music today. Reading her book convinced me I wanted to be a music journalist in printed media and then at the end of the book she shows how that job has all but vanished as a viable career option.