Waking in Wolverhampton I feel sad that it’s the last day of the tour already. Today is the London date that no tour would be complete without and so we’re off to The Lounge, Archway, London after breakfast which is a fun meal. There are a few bleary eyes about and, thinking about hangovers, I’m reminded of the old Elvira joke;

“How’s your head?”

“I’ve never had any complaints”.

I have a partial English (I’m not a sausage fan, contrary to what you might have heard) and a black cherry yogurt. After breakfast and freshening up Heavy Metal Panda decided to be the first panda in history to ever leave an extra towel in a hotel.

We do more standing about in a car park. We realise the Terminus vehicles are going to be cramped so Emmy, Heavy Metal Panda and I get to go to London with Gaz of the Sykko Dollz and his lovely wife Helen. Part way through the journey Heavy Metal Panda is a bit star struck, thinking it a privilege to hear great vocalist Gaz singing along to Absolute Rock radio. We get to Archway first and have a cosy meal in McDonalds before everyone else arrives.

The venue is plush. There is a glitterball and a celebrity sound guy, Danny Felice from Breed 77. On the journey from Wolvo I’d said “I wonder if we’ll see any celebs in London, apart from the ones we’re taking with us of course”. I take a picture of a mural of a woman in her undies on the wall. Alan explains this is Jessica Alba and he describes her talents, looking wistful. Alba, if you’re reading, I think you might be in there.

Soundcheck is fast and precise. Doors open at 8:00 and Terminus take to the stage at 8:30. Some Oxford locals have come out to see them which is much appreciated. Terminus play a short set that includes Rose Tattoo’s “Sweetmeat” (otherwise known as the grind wiggle wiggle song), Kiss’s “Detroit Rock City” and they finish with Neil Young’s “Rockin’ In The Free World”. It’s the highest stage they’ve ever played on. John’s hat is very sweaty after. I don’t assess the sweatiness of the rest of the band because that would be weird.

Next up we have the Sykko Dollz. They play only their original material tonight. I’m at the front with the Dollz faithful singing and dancing along. I really need the Dollz to get into the studio and record. I’d love to have been able to take these songs home with me. The crowd is jolly and a section of it keeps breaking out into a chorus of “You’re so vain”. The dancing to “Riding All Night” is as suggestive as that in Terminus’s grind wiggle wiggle song.

Headline act Stone Trigger round off the weekend with an enthusiasm impressive for chaps performing for the fourth time in a row. I’ve developed a deep fondness for the tracks “Rattle Your Bones” and “Children of the Night”. You can get their album from Stone Trigger Big Cartel and become fond of them yourself.

I have Stone Trigger’s Tommy to thank for making me feel like I was back at the Queens Arms, Oxford in 1989, because he was in the ladies’ loo, doing his eyeliner. When I first began frequenting rock pubs there were always blokes in the ladies’ using the mirror. I overheard Sykko Dollz singer Gaz say “Was there a dressing room? I was still in my boxers when punters were coming through the door, I was putting on more of a show than I should have been”. Further glamour was added to the evening when we spotted beautiful alternative model Dani Divine. This inspired Emmy  to attempt to teach John and Alan to walk like a model. More work is needed on this project.

Now the sad bit. Goodbyes. I think of the Dr Seuss quote; “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Helen echoes my thoughts when she says she wishes we could create a heavy metal island to all live together on and never have to go to work. Music is escapism. It’s what makes the boring bits of life bearable. It’s what accompanies our celebrations. It’s what brings people together. It’s what thunders through the veins of all the Sunday night gig goers. It’s what makes us feel alive and in the moment. It leaves us better than it found us. It becomes part of us.

Heavy Metal Panda and I would like to thank everyone for a wonderful weekend.

 

The gig in brief

Most disturbing sentence of the night: “It’s time to go home”.

Number of Motörhead T shirts in the venue: 1.

Number of middle aged men enrolled in Emmy’s model school: 2.

Number of crisps flavours available behind bar: 0. The bar man told me they used to have crisps but they don’t now. I think the people who usually come to this venue are probably too cool to eat crisps in a bar.

Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny in Evesham. My husband and I had spent the night in single beds due to a slight mix up when booking. The Terminus camp decided to seek out a fry-up and were successful in the Old Swanne Inn Wetherspoons. We were the loudest customers and the ones wearing the least beige. I chose pancakes with maple syrup. They were microwaved to near perfection. Next we did a lot of standing about in a car park. It’s not a proper tour if you don’t do this. We then began a drive from Evesham to Wolverhampton. It’s the first time in Wolverhampton for three-fifths of Terminus and for me. I’m keen to see the sights because I love the TV series Raised By Wolves.

Here’s a quote from Della, the Mum in Raised By Wolves; “Underage clubbing was the making of me. If I hadn’t vomited my guts up on cheap cider night after night and been punched hard in the tit by a Goth in a mosh pit I wouldn’t be the woman I am today”.

Also, Wolverhampton has got some great rock history. Tyla (Dog’s D’amour, Spike & Tyla’s Hot Knives, The Tyla J. Pallas Band) hails from Wolverhampton and Noddy Holder has an honorary degree from the University of Wolverhampton.

“Out of darkness cometh light” is the city’s motto. While I was there it was mostly darkness and rain so I did minimal sightseeing.  I saw the view from the hotel window (of a skip, a roundabout and a funeral directors), a Betfred, a pub called The George Wallis, and the splendid venue The Giffard Arms. I’m making a promise to myself to go back to Wolverhampton and do it properly one day.

Terminus kicked off Saturday night by playing a set of classic partying tunes. It’s the Zodiac Mindwarp “Prime Mover” cover that does it for me time after time. The intro is amazing. I’m with Dean as he proclaims “We shall be drunken stars, we shall fear nothing, demand the impossible, dream your destiny” and then he gives us “defy the logic of alphabets” and I start wondering how I’d write anything without an alphabet. But he’s carrying on with “I slayed the king of the wolves, nothing is impossible” and then I wonder if the wolves have a new king now, since it must have been about 1988 when Zodiac Mindwarp first slayed him.

Next I witnessed the hair magic happen for Neil of the Sykko Dollz. The awesome hair stylist Alex Barker soon had Neil’s mohawk stiffer than a gin with no tonic, more upstanding than a 1980s teenage boy with the Kays catalogue open on the underwear section, and greener than an apprentice who goes on an errand to buy tartan paint. Sykko Dollz look great onstage against the red velvet curtains. Gaz’s contact lenses add an otherworldly edge to his face. It’s my third time seeing the Dollz and I’ve moved closer to the front since Thursday and started singing along with all the choruses. The Dollz faithful are out in force and are a very friendly bunch.

Headline act Stone Trigger are full of class and professionalism tonight. During a minor mike issue Tommy leads a singalong of Bon Jovi. He doesn’t lose the crowd for a picosecond. He moves about the stage constantly, letting everyone in the room get a look and a listen. This band are superb at songs with the noise “woah-oh” in. You need this kind of music on a Saturday.

All too soon it’s load out down metal stairs in the rain. I start humming to myself and I realise I’ve re-purposed Marillion’s “We’re just sugar mice in the rain” lyric  to “We’re just metal stairs in the rain”.

It’s hard to leave the venue because it has everything there should be in a pub; great music, friendly bar staff, JD Honey, the traditional installation in any pub’s ladies’ loo on a Saturday night of a woman assuring her mate she isn’t going to text her ex later.

The ladies’ loos in The Giffard Arms have cubicles with doors marked Goddess, Vamp and Mistress. I was going to go in Goddess but went in Vamp because there was tiny bit of sick in Goddess. Emmy went in Goddess when it was clean. I wonder which is most popular?…

The gig in brief

Most disturbing sentence of the night: “We’re not taking orders because our chef has to go out”. I nearly got hangry.

Number of Motörhead T shirts in the venue: 3.

Number of Elvira pictures in the venue: 1.

Number of crisps flavours available behind bar: The bar had sweets and crisps available. Sweets top trump crisps any day.

 

 

 

 

Instead of being at work on a Friday I’m on a journey from Oxford to Evesham. We’re on the highway to, hang on, let me check…we’re on the A44, passing through pretty Cotswold villages. We’ve got Haribo Tangfastics, rooms booked at The Iron Road and an urge for more live music*.

Terminus are going to play a different set to the one they played last night in Witney but some of them are having trouble with the concept of set A and set B. The no stairs load in pleases everyone because it leaves more time for drinking. There’s a school’s out for summer feeling in the air. I spend a pleasant five minutes watching the Terminus backdrop getting bulldog clipped up. With all the “A bit higher on your side, a bit lower on your side, to me, to you” goings on it’s like an episode of The Chuckle Brothers in black T-shirts.

Speaking of T-shirts, some of Terminus have the conversation about whether it is or isn’t acceptable to wear your own T-shirt on stage. Terminus have got merch for the first time and are excited by it. You might think “Grind, wiggle wiggle” is an odd thing to print on a T-shirt, but it commemorates a dance done by sections of the audience when Terminus play Rose Tattoo’s “Sweetmeat”. You need to come to a gig to see it in all its glory and I’ll provide a tutorial if you want to join in but don’t know how. One audience member picks it up very fast, takes his shirt off and performs it with gusto. I’ve rarely seen such enthusiastic gyrations in public.

After Terminus have played set B (or was it set A?) we get the Sykko Dollz. I’m seeing them for the second time and I’m already hooked by them. It all gets a bit weird when they have clowns that hand out shots. It’s sweaty in the venue anyway and I’m impressed by the dedication of those willing to don clown suits and add to the already compelling spectacle of the Dollz in full force.

Headline act Stone Trigger go on when it’s as hot and sticky as a microwaved apple pie but they don’t get slowed down by it. Nor do they insist on having all the limelight. They get a multiple vocalists version of Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” going which delights the crowd and also makes the crowd a bit less crowded because some of the crowd is now on the stage. Also, all the crowd is now singing so it’s hard to know where crowd ends and the band begins. There are a couple of rock celebs in the crowd, with Evesham being the birthplace of NWOBHM noise merchants Wrathchild (and Sykko Dollz singer Gaz Harris having done a big chunk of vocal duties in Wrathchild as Gaz Psychowrath).

It’s a very successful night and I’m relieved that there is no long journey home. The bar stays packed with chatting, dancing and drinking patrons until a rock and roll hour way past midnight. I notice when it’s approaching midnight and say, to Alan, while pointing at the clock, “It’s two minutes to midnight Alan”. Alan starts singing an Iron Maiden classic. I say “I knew I could rely on you” and smile thinking about the lovely chats I’ve had with people tonight, some of whom I only just met.

The gig in brief

Most disturbing sentence of the night: “He could have got it all cheaper in Thailand”.

Number of Motörhead T shirts in the venue: 2.

Number of clowns in the venue: 2.

Number of crisps flavours available behind bar: Dunno, because they do great burgers so I didn’t need any crisps. I chose the Lemmy burger. I got to say “I’m the Lemmy” when my food arrived. John had the B.B. King burger which arrived while he was sound checking so he had the slightly cold chips blues.

 

*This blog is mostly about the stuff that happens around the music. Plenty of people film bands onstage, or post set lists online, or review the music and that’s great. I however, will mainly be reviewing the dicking around between the music and facilitating a glimpse into the (probably) exciting life of a band on the road.

 

It was comedian Tim Vine who said “I never tell people what I get up to at the top of small hills. What goes on on tor, stays on tor”. I’m going to do the opposite and tell you about the Sleaze* In The City Tour.

Firstly a big thank you to Alan for giving me a lift to Fat Lils in Alan’s Babemobile** It was a sunny, loud ride and I did my first ever listening to Paramore (and heard great singing along by babes Emmy, Emily and Shannon).

The opening band were the splendidly named Sykko Dollz (pronounced Psycho Dolls, in case you’re wondering).  Not since the glory days of Kerrang! has the over used letter c been swapped so enthusiastically with the less common letter k. You can tell this band gig a lot, they were on top form. They all have great hair. I didn’t expect the Abba cover. I look forward to getting more familiar with their set over the next three nights.

Terminus were the filling in the sleaze sandwich tonight. They selected the stuff from their repertoire that was likely to please a sleaze crowd and it looked like it did from where I was standing. Personally I love their cover of Zodiac Mindwarp’s “Prime Mover”, the crowd seemed to enjoy their sleazy Rose Tattoo cover plus their non-sleazy Blink 182 and Rage Against The Machine. Bass player Steve was wearing an appropriate Motörhead T-shirt for today is Motörhead day (see Lemmium for more details).

The main event, all the way from Ireland to entertain us, was Stone Trigger. Fond of writing big glossy catchy party music, fluorescent posters and wearing sunglasses indoors they had the crowd grinning from the off. A duet of Welcome To The Jungle occurred, with Terminus’s Dean joining Tommy onstage.  You can listen to their latest single Masquerade on YouTube.

A big thanks to Liam for the lift home and to a tipsy John who claimed to have eaten a camemberg which we assumed was a half camembert, half Battenberg creation.

 

The gig in brief

Most disturbing phrase of the night: “jizz towel”.

Number of Motörhead T shirts in the venue: 3.

Number of bandanas in the venue: too many to count. If we tied them all end to end we could probably have reached the next venue on the tour.

Number of people wearing sunglasses indoors: lots.

Number of people convincingly wearing sunglasses indoors: actually lots. It seems that sunglasses indoors is fine in a sleaze context. Looking around Fat Lils last night it seemed a bit like someone was filming a sequel to The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years.

Number of crisps flavours available behind bar: 1 (cheese and onion).

 

*The type of sleaze to which I refer is the musical type, not the odious News Of The World type. Sleaze is a hard rock sub genre that flat out refused to leave the 80s. It clung on with glitter nail varnished fingers to the doorway that led from the 80s to the 90s and it hasn’t slipped through yet. It prides itself on having good hair and having a good time all the time.

**Not my words. The credit for this goes to Dean Thirkettle.