Two Questions To Terminus Part Six

Today Terminus reveal their favourite books and tell us what they think is the most romantic song ever.


The History of Noel by Noel is not available from all good book shops.

GoodOmens-Hard-1990Here are a few great quotes from Good Omens;

“All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.”

“The really important thing to be was yourself, just as hard as you could.”

“Anyway, if you stopped tellin’ people it’s all sorted out after they’re dead, they might try sorting it all out while they’re alive.”


If music is the food of love*, Terminus lay on an amorous buffet at every gig. I quizzed them on what they think the most romantic song is.

Steve thinks that Jackyl’s She Loves My Cock is the most romantic song ever. This is a nice choice, who wouldn’t want to be serenaded by this?

Noel’s choice is Mel C’s Be the one. Solo spice-tastic!

John’s is Joe Bonamassa and Beth Hart’s I’ll take care of you.

Dean’s is Enuff Z’Nuff’s Strength.

Liam’s is Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters.


*It isn’t, but people say it is and it’s one of those Shakespeare phrases that requires explanation.  Basically, a chap called Duke Orsino from Twelfth Night said “If music be the food of love, play on!” because he really fancied someone called Olivia who had given up men for seven years. Duke Orsino wanted to get full up of music so he’d stop wanting love and stop fancying Olivia**. However, this didn’t happen, no matter how much music he listened to he still wanted love and so music is not the food of love but people keep saying it is.

bertolli-olivio-spread-1kg-**If I was Shakespeare I’d have made a joke about Olivia sounding like Olivio, the vegetable fat product that spreads easily, because Olivia has given up men so is not spreading (her legs) at all. But now they’ve changed the name to Bertolli.




Two Questions To Terminus Part Five

Today Terminus tell us what their favourite film is and what song they would like to add to their set but have been scuppered in doing so by at least one of the other members not wanting to play it.


StahamTraaasahsFun fact – Jason Statham is unable to say the word “trousers” without an air of menace. If you’d like to try saying “trousers” in a hard man way then make a face like you’ve just smelt some gone off milk and pronounce “trousers” as “traaa-sahs”.


Having to all agree on what to play makes being in a covers band interesting. Here’s some songs you’ll not hear Terminus do any time soon due to a lack of consensus:

Steve would like to play Warrant’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Noel would like to play The Carpenters’ We’ve Only Just Begun.

Dean would like to play Manowar’s Thor (the powerhead).

Liam would like to play the Power Rangers Theme song and Pantera’s Cowboys From Hell.

John couldn’t think of one so maybe he always gets his way!





Two Questions To Terminus Part Four

Today Terminus tell us the first album they bought with their own money and what flavour they think nipples should be.

Steve’s first album was Slade’s Old New Borrowed and Blue.

Noel’s was The Essential Jean-Michel Jarre.

John’s was Judas Priest’s Unleashed In The East. A copy of this is framed in the room where he practises guitar.

Dean’s was Tubeway Army’s Replicas.

Liam says his was probably a Metallica album.


Moving on to the nipples question, Steve’s answer seems kinkiest to me and Liam’s sounds sticky. Dean was the only one to show his working when answering this question, he thinks that the visual appearance of nipples is cherry-like so he’d like a concordance in their taste.


The image below is provided to allow you, the inquisitive reader, to test Dean’s theory.

Step 1, locate a chest. This can be yours or that of a willing* volunteer.

Step 2, view the nipples located on the chest. You can expect to find approximately two.

Step 3, compare the nipples you’ve just viewed live with the cherries in the image below.

Step 4, draw your own conclusion about the similarity (or not) between cherries and nipples.



*Ask them clearly, do you consent to me taking a peek at your chest (mainly) in the interests of science? If yes, proceed. If not leave the bus shelter/supermarket/pub/ and try elsewhere.

Two Questions To Terminus Part Three

Today Terminus have thought about a support band they would like and what their super power would be.


Both The Crushing and Get Loose are talented and original local bands.

NoelBringing joy to an audience with rock/metal/blues covers is already a kind of super power but I asked Terminus what other super power they would have.

Steve said we should ask his girlfriend*.

Liam’s super power would be to be bitten by a radioactive spider and become Spider-Man.  I can see a lycra stage suit in his future.

Noel’s superhuman talent is that he can wear shorts** in the coldest of weather.

Dean says his is “Farts of Doom!” and he used capital letters so I’m taking this very seriously. I’ve just remembered I’m probably going to be in a van with him soon. Yoicks!

John claims modesty as the super power he would have. Yes, most lead guitarists say that.

Check back tomorrow when Terminus may or may not answer the question of what flavour they think nipples should be.



*Note to self. Never ask a question you don’t really want the answer to.

**He’s got the finely muscled legs of a keen drummer. It would be a shame to waste them with a full length trouser.


Two Questions To Terminus Part Two

Today Terminus talks favourite pudding and the likely causes of the end of the world.

I don’t know the favourite pudding of any of my musical heroes. I’d guess that Danzig likes a Black Forest gateau and that Dave Mustaine likes a lemon cheesecake but this is pure conjecture. I do know what Terminus like best for afters, and now, so can you…


We’ve got some chocolate agreement and strawberry disagreement within the ranks and Noel’s gone old school with his choice.

Anyway, moving from pudding to doom, one meaning of the word terminus is end, so I thought I’d quiz the chaps as to how they think the world will end?

NASA imageEarthGotToGo.jpg

Steve says he hasn’t a clue, but John will know.

John thinks it’ll grind to a halt with red tape, bureaucracy and health and safety.

Dean reckons mankind will be annihilated by antibiotic resistant diseases and the earth will be destroyed by alien planet miners. He also thinks it might be ants that wreck the planet.

Liam thinks zombies will be Earth’s ruination.

Noel responded “The world will end in a massive orgy of sex, drugs, and fire. Well, for one of us it will…”

Until then, Terminus will keep on rockin’ in the free world.




Two Questions To Terminus Part One

I’m going to be spending four nights in a row with Terminus later this month when they tour with Stone Trigger and Sykko Dollz so it seemed wise to get to know them a bit better with some insightful and deep* interview questions.

Question one, what was the first gig they ever went to?


Question two, if a dog ran off with an item of their clothing, would they rather it was their pants or their socks? I asked the dog in this picture if he was considering running off with an item of clothing and he replied “Oh yes!”

PantTheft.jpgSteve said he didn’t care either way. He’s not going to be put off by going commando or foot commando**

Liam preferred to remain fully panted. I’ve made a note of that to see if it changes while on tour.

Dean said that Guy, his PatterJack terrier always steals and hides socks from his family, so stolen pants would make a nice change…

Noel said socks would be his sacrifice to the criminal canine. He claimed “I can’t handle the dangle of no pants”.

John said “Where did this dog come from? Did you leave the door open again?”

Phew! I think that’s enough probing queries to get me a reputation as the next Michael Parkinson. Coming up later this week will be the answers to how Terminus thinks the world will end and what’s their favourite pudding.



*Actual depth about that of a short gerbil’s paddling pool. I was inspired by the rigorous journalism of the Mandy Annual 2000, an example of which is below:


**Foot commando, the new name for sock less.